A woman went into a store to buy her husband a pet for his birthday. After looking around, she found that all the pets were very expensive. She told the clerk she wanted to buy a pet, but she didn't want to spend a fortune.
"Well," said the clerk, "I have a very large bullfrog. They say it's been trained to give blowjobs !"
"Blowjobs!", the woman replied.
"It hasn't been proven, but we've sold 30 of them this month," he said.
The woman thought it would be a great gag gift, and what if it's true...no more blowjobs for her ! She bought the frog. When she explained froggy's ability to her husband, he was extremely skeptical and laughed it off.
The woman went to bed happy, thinking she may never need to perform this less than riveting act again.
In the middle the night, she was awakened by the noise of pots and pans flying everywhere, making hellacious banging and crashing sounds. She ran downstairs to the kitchen, only to find her husband and the frog reading cookbooks.
"What are you two doing at this hour?" she asked.
The husband replied," If I can teach this frog to cook, your ass is gone."
Female ohno jokes