Fish and Cat Story
One spring day, a fish was swimming about a foot below the surface o... Elephant WOMB
Four farmers were seated at the bar in a tavern. At the table next t... Gorilla Problem
A certain zoo had acquired a very rare species of gorilla. Within a... Ghost Hick
A visiting professor at Texas A & M University is giving a seminar o... Gorilla Headache
It's a beautiful warm spring day and a man and his wife are at the z... House Calls
Howard was feeling guilty all day long. No matter how he tried to fo... Legless Frog
Sidney was a 14-year-old boy with an interest in the sciences. One s... A man, an ostrich, and a cat
A man walks into a bar with an ostrich and a cat and sits at the bar... Hungry Cock
A guy approaches the window of the movie theater with a chicken unde... Three Dogs...and a Collie
The Taco Bell Chihuahua, a Doberman and a Bull dog are in a doggie b... Storks
Two storks are sitting in their nest: a father stork and baby stork.... Bear Advisory
The Forest Service has issued a BEAR WARNING in the national forests... Shooting The Bull
Two hunters went moose hunting every winter without success. Finally... One Talented Hamster
A mangy-lookin' guy goes into a bar and orders a drink. The bartende... How Man Earned Longevity
God created the donkey and told him: you will work tireless from sun... Preacher's Horse Racing Exploits
A preacher wanted to raise money for his church and on being told th... Rudolph's Medical Bill
Santa Claus brings poor Rudolph to the vet. He says to the vet, "Do... Zoo Christmas
The Crist family worked at a zoo. Each year they predicted the gene... The K9 Patrol
The police department, famous for its superior canine (K-9) unit, wa... Non-seeing Eye Dog
A blind man was seen waiting at a street corner with his guide dog.... The Rabbit And Snake
A snake and a rabbit were racing along a pair of intersecting forest... No Dogs Allowed
A man goes to a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for... Horse And Chicken
A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into... Browsing
A blind man walks into a store with his seeing eye dog. All of a sud... The Soccer Stars
A teacher at a school for blind kids is taking his school's soccer t... Two Nudes
Two nude statues (one male and one female) had been standing in the... Rabbit Test
The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), The FBI, and the CIA are a... A Poor Choice of Snack
Two tigers were stalking through the jungles of Asia. Suddenly, the... Professional Courtesy
Did you hear about the lawyer on vacation whose sailboat capsized in... Purchasing A Turkey
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store,... Lion Tamer
A circus owner runs an ad for a lion tamer and two young people show... Talking Dog For Sale
This guy sees a sign in front of a house "Talking Dog for Sale." He... Talented Dog
A local business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the... The Nonconformist Bird
There once was a nonconformist bird that decided not to fly south fo... Poor Parrot
A lady who was very lonesome bought a parrot from a pet store, compl... An Atheist
An atheist was walking through the woods one day in Alaska, admiring... Cross-eyes Rotweiler
A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. "My dog's cross eyed. Is ther... How much for the cow?
Once there was a man who was in love with a beautiful woman and he w... Animal One Liners
Q: What do whales like to chew?
A: Blubber gum!
Q: What did the... The Dysfunctional Bears
Mama and Papa Bear are accused of child abuse. Baby Bear is put on... Mousey Tale
Three mice are sitting in a bar in a pretty rough neighborhood late... Blonde Sheep Winner
There was a blonde who was tired of all the blonde jokes and decided... The Man And The Dog
There is an OLD story about the data center of the future.
This d... Boy, Officer & Squirrel
A policeman caught a nasty little boy with a penknife in one hand an... Animal Super Bowl
During the Super Bowl, there was another football game of note betwe... Butt Crack
One day a poor old lady found a dollar and with that dollar she boug... Driving with Penguins
A man was driving down the road with twenty penguins in the back sea... Chatty Parrot
An elderly woman was looking for a pet to be a good companion and no... A Horse Walks Into A Bar
A horse walks into a bar, he sits down and the bartender asks him, "... Surprise
One evening, as Uncle John and his wife are entertaining guests with... Drunk Giraffe
A man walks into a bar with a giraffe. He walks up to the bar and ta... The Camel Joke
There's this guy walking along a road to town with his camel. Along... Two Bear Hunters
Two men went bear hunting. While one stayed in the cabin, the other... Cow Tail
A foursome was on the last hole and when the last golfer drove off t... Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?
JERRY FALWELL:
Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't... Adopted Turtle
Deep within a forest a little turtle began to climb a tree. After ho... Jokes: 56
ANIMAL JOKES